GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE MARCH 19, 1999

COMMUNITY GROUPS

HIV: The ultimate intimacy-a permanent partnership?

by Pan Cunningham

I've been wondering something: Is an AIDS activist who expresses their intense sexual desire an oxymoron?

Not that I just sit around and wonder random things for no reason. All right, maybe I do, but I was thinking about barebacking and the community's response to it. So it seemed appropriate for me to ask.

For those of you who don't know what barebacking is, I'm afraid I can't clearly define it for you. Some think it's having any kind of unprotected sex. Others think it's having anal sex without a condom. But those in the barebacking community (yes, folks, there is one) say it's both the premeditation and eroticization of unprotected anal sex.

The eroticization of unprotected anal sex?

Yup. Flies in the face of everything we've been doing in prevention for the past 18 years, doesn't it?

Well, look at where we've been in the past 18 years. We used admonitions like "Don't have sex without a condom," and fear tactics like “Everyone is at risk for AIDS." And still, some current prevention campaigns continue to scold “Use a condom every time!"

It's no surprise to me that the audience either tunes out or fails to identify with the message. And what about that last vestige of scare tactics: "Re-infection can happen to you"? After 18 years of having crisis message after crisis message sent at them, some men who have sex with men are getting tired of wrapping themselves in latex. There's an increasing passivity toward HIV. My job as the AIDS Taskforce outreach educator isn't

easy. A lot of gay men in bars and bathhouses don't want to hear what I have to say.

But enough about me. Let's get back to barebacking.

"Barebacking subculture has coalesced in large part as a backlash against these scare tactics." This is a direct quote. from the February Poz magazine. What did 'the old Chinese LaoTzu say? "Extreme ac-

sharing is intense pleasure, a spiritual release. It's a physical expression of intimacy. They believe that there's no better way to bond with a man than to give or receive sperm. Bareback bottoms take it into their bodies and keep it there as a way of remembering the sex. They want

tion leads to extreme reaction." Hmm. That seems to fit, doesn't it? After all, in 1997 at the San Diego Creating Change conference, Tony Valenzuela, an HIV-positive barebacker said, "The level of erotic charge and intimacy I feel when a man comes inside me is transformational, especially in a climate which so completely disregards its importance." Not just disregards its importance, but taboos and vilifies it.

AIDS

TASKFORCE

OF GREATER CLEVELAND

"I wanted to get rid of shame by being vocal about the things so many positive men do silently. I certainly wasn't out to encourage anyone not to use condoms," Valenzuela said, looking back at that controversial stance he took in San Diego.

He brings up a good point about shaming. Implied in safer sex messages of present and past is that there is shame in having unsafe sex. Barebackers see no shame in it, however. For them, semen-

fected for life.

to feel it inside them and keep experiencing that closeness. I know I can relate to that. In times past when I swallowed, I was on cloud nine for at least a couple of days, knowing that a part of my lover was inside of me.

But while sharing uninfected semen may be perfect for some, it isn't good enough for "bug chasers"men looking to become infected or exposed to HIV. "Charged loads❞—semen that is HIV-infected-offer a kind of permanent partnership, a connection outside of time. The ultimate intimacy. After all, once you're infected, you're in-

Now, I have to say, I'm jealous of these guys. They've succeeded at doing what I've been trying to do for almost two years now: making something unpopular erotic! That's impressive. Making something erotic is very complicated. It involves removing taboos and acknowledging deeply rooted personality issues. But these barebackers, they have taken the dread and deadliness of the virus and transformed it into desire!

I was at Flex and was talking to a guy who told me, "My friend lets me have anal sex with him without a condom." He lets him.

Time for action, with a capital 'A'

by Kerry Lobel

Where will you be this weekend and next week, March 21 to 27?

Will you be in Columbus or Cheyenne? Springfield or Sacramento? Jefferson City or Jackson? Austin or Albany? Boise or Birmingham?

In just a matter of days, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in every state, Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia will gather in their state capitals for an unprecedented display of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender visibility. With our friends and allies, we'll change America's political landscape forever and we'll reflect the reality that for the movement for social change, equality really does begin at home.

The Federation of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Statewide Political Organizations and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force have planned the campaign, Equality Begins at Home, from March 21 to 27.

Over 250 events ranging from lobby days to prayer breakfasts to youth rallies are designed to put a face on our community. Never will we have gathered with so much force on so many fronts to build political infrastructure and to build momentum for change. And that change is going to happen in Columbia, Harrisburg, Trenton, Nashville, Hartford, and Lansing.

A rally will be held at noon Sunday,

March 21 in front of the Ohio Statehouse in Columbus, and a lobby day with Ohio legislators on Tuesday, March 23. Bus rides are available from many cities to the Sunday rally.

Many of us have never been to our state capital. Some would be hard pressed to

MARCH 21-27, 1999

equa rty

Begin's at home

name the capitals of their neighboring states. Yet every day, decisions are made by legislators, governors, attorneys general, and other officials that affect our very lives. Most Americans live in states that allow discrimination based on sexual orientation, ban same-gender consensual sex, and do not consider violence against us a hate crime. Many states ban same-gender marriage, even though it is not legal in any state. More and more young people find their school groups and clubs the target of rightwing legislators whom understand the power that gay-straight alliances hold. Nearly every issue facing the GLBT movement today

Legal Concerns?? Martha Hom, Esq. phone/fax 330-865-0997

55 Shiawassee Ave, Suite M, Fairlawn, OH 44333 e-mail: MLHom@juno.com

Proud to serve the gay and lesbian community.

is played out in town councils, county boards, state legislatures and ballot measures. The decisions are made in Dover, Frankfort, Helena, Annapolis, Pierre, and Augusta.

Our movement is growing stronger and more people are involved in their communities than ever before. This growth has brought many challenges. Today we find ourselves at the brink of making important decisions that will forever affect our futures.

That's why during the week of March 21 to 27, I will be traveling with my NGLTF colleagues to state capitals across the country to participate in Equality Begins at Home.

For some of us, the week provides an opportunity to plan an event for our workplace or house of worship. In increasing numbers, Equality Begins at Home affords us the choice of speaking out for ourselves for the first time. Our families, our colleagues, our friends, and our communities change their views about gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people when they come to know us. We know that our views of our own world change when we come to know ourselves as fully whole and authentic people.

So where will you be during the week of March 21 to 27?. Join me, my NGLTF colleagues, and our collective family in Oklahoma City, Olympia, Little Rock, Lincoln, Salem, San Juan, Trenton, and Tallahassee. I'll see you there!

Kerry Lobel is executive director of the National gay and Lesbian Task Force. For more information about Equality Begins at Home events in Ohio, call 888-429-6446 (888-GAY-OHIO), or in Cleveland, 216-5221999, or visit the web site at www.rainbowakron.com/ebah.

For more information or a complete listing of the national events of that week, visit the web site at http:/ www.equalitybeginsathome.org.

Having unprotected anal sex is a privilege. I had never grasped that concept before. And I was very struck by the sincerity of his statement. It's not that this guy wasn't aware of his HIV risk—he was just in search of that unmatchable intimacy.

In A&U, an AIDS magazine, a recent article asserted that barebacking "must be internalized homophobia, a lack of selfesteem, the need to belong and the need for attention and love that sends gay men in search of HIV. There is a need to subvert what is seen as a curse and claim it, thus neutering it, like activists subverting the word queer."

It is also suggested that "survivor guilt, a sense of inevitability about the prospect of seroconversion, an identification of AIDS with gayness, and an association of seroconversion with a positive life transformation" leads people to bareback.

In view of these statements, it seem clear that barebacking may cause a major conflict in future years of public health policy. Yet I believe in what A&U editor David Waggoner says, "We must never shut up. Even if we have to bore someone, we must keep the discussion going."

I believe we should start the discussion on barebacking, despite its possible negative consequences. Even though we at the AIDS Taskforce think it makes sense to wear condoms, we believe perhaps even more strongly-that it also makes sense to squarely face issues that alert people to their strongly held, and often conflicting, points of view.

So what do we do now? As a suggestion, I want to quote Devin Kordt, founding director of Aggressive AIDS Prevention in San Francisco:

"Because barebackers have rejected one prevention strategy, they will reject all others in their indiscriminate recklessness."

I disagree. I think what we need is a new model-nonabsolutist, nonpanicked, nonshaming and nonjudgmental prevention-focusing on sexual empowerment and harm reduction. The only way to do this is for all AIDS service organizations to continue using outreach workers to familiarize funders and program directors with sexual subcultures. I think if we succeed in creating this new model, there will be such a thing as an AIDS activist who expresses their intense sexual desire after all.

In the spirit of starting new prevention approaches, John Chaich and Pan Cunningham co-coordinate Mansize, a gay, bi and MSM (men who have sex with men, but do not necessarily identify as gay) HIV prevention program.

Mandance, an outreach program of Mansize, will be auditioning dancers who will be stripping and using sex toys to convey safer sex messages to bar and bathhouse audiences. On the evenings we will be auditioning, we will also be setting up a volunteer booth for all interested in volunteering with the Education Department at the AIDS Taskforce.

We will be at Flex from 10 pm to 2 am on March 20, the Leather Stallion from 10:30 pm to midnight on 26th, and Oasis and MJ's from 10 pm to 2 am March 27.

Call John, Pan or Nancy Mendez, director of volunteer services, at 216-6210766 ext. 223, 233 or 239 for further information.

Pan Cunningham is the outreach educator for the AIDS Taskforce of Cleveland.

Community Groups

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